That is so gay dude

 Homosexuality, a taboo subject in our country. Our government at least takes a clear stand on this by making homosexuality a punishable offence. But the rest of us are just two faced, our favorite line being "That's so gay, dude!" We change our profile pictures on Facebook to the colorful one introduced by Facebook as part of the "Celebrate Pride" campaign. We are willing to support the US government legalising LGBT marriages in their country, but we mock the homosexuals around us. Even talking about homosexuality is taboo. "How cool, dude!" most of us go for US legalising LGBT marriages. The same ones who exclaim "Is he gay?!" when a man wears pink, cares about how he looks, or when someone, according to the majority, lacks masculinity. How two-faced can we be?!

Why do I care? Because I know a heart-breaking story of an acquaintance, a set of parents who lost their beautiful daughter toward a terrible tragedy, owing to the kind of society that we have created.

A beautiful, quiet and intelligent girl. Let's call her "Leena." A friend of childhood friend of mine, Aaradhana. Leena always seemed distressed. Like she was in unspeakable pain. But she just had to meet Aaradhana, and she would be all upbeat and happy. Aaradhana never understood these extreme moods that defined Leena's 'weird' personality. But at 16, one doesn't care too much about all this. Leena started growing clingy toward Aaradhana, making her uncomfortable in the process. Aaradhana started staying away from Leena, ignoring her calls and refusing to meet her or hang out with her. However, they all passed out of school and Aaradhana moved to another town within Bombay. The two friends drifted apart. While in college, Leena met Dipti. They hit it off really well.

Now like a typical Hindi soap Aaradhana and Dipti were friends as well, having attended some coaching classes together or something. But she wouldn't hang out with Dipti and Leena, maintaining a respectful distance but being in touch at the same time.

 Few months into our brand new and exciting college life, we get a shocking news. Aaradhana called one evening with the news that I could have lived without. She sounded stricken. I panicked thinking something terrible had happened. Then she told me. "Leena killed herself last week." "She hung herself by the ceiling fan and died."

This sounded inexplicably unbelievable. She seemed depressed, but back then, I never knew how depression worked.

And then Dipti confessed to Aaradhana because she was dying of guilt herself. So Leena had been a homosexual and she loved Dipti.  Dipti had apparently reciprocated Leena's feelings. But then maybe Dipti panicked or was just confused. When a this cute guy in her class asked Dipti out, she started dating him.

After a couple of months, Dipti and her boyfriend decided to get married. Leena was heartbroken and she plunged into depression headlong. Living in a small town, in a middle-class conservative Maharashtrian family, she had always felt queer about her feelings toward girls. She thought that Dipti was her only friend  who comforted her, or atleast pretended to. They even fell in love with each other. And then Leena dumped Dipti. Just like that. That was the final blow for Leena. She had already been drowning in depression. All she probably had been looking for was "acceptance." She died, just like that. Leaving her parents shattered and clueless.

Aaradhana was aghast. 

At 21, she couldn't think of doing anything about this depressing story except meet Leena's parents and tell them how their daughter had always been a wonderful friend. Aaradhana herself was ridden with guilt. For now she knew why Leena had been clingy toward her. Leena had only been looking for a friend, a sister-of-sorts whom she could open up to. Someone she could talk to and who would accept her as a platonic friend, or like family, and not judge her for being a lesbian. And Leena gave up that hope, when one evening Aradhana commented on a lesbian couple in a movie, calling them "gross." 

I had almost forgotten about this miserable story. All the Indians on Facebook turning their profile pictures into the colorful variety to support the US law brought this back. This hypocrisy irks me. Because we don't show the same dignity to the homosexuals around us; most people are content just changing their Facebook profile pictures to offer support.

How would you feel if your kid, sibling, or a loved one confesses that he/she is gay?

How would you like the line "Dude, that's so gay" then?

It's time that we all be more sensitive. Unless we as a society are okay with the Leenas amongst us killing themselves, fearing social stigma and dissolving in depression.

It's a disgusting world.

An already gloomy "I don't want to leave my bed today" morning takes a nasty turn. When I step out to go to work, with my husband, we hear a painful wail. The source: our otherwise nice watchman was hitting a poor street dog that dared to enter our building premises. I am usually my nice self to the watchman, exchanging pleasantries and all that. I asked him "Maarte kyun ho unko!!" He goes "Madam woh andar aakaar sara kachra gira deta hai.." My husband, a dog lover, goes "Aapke bacche dusre building main jaenge aur unko kisi ne maar bhagaya toh aapko acha lagega?" The watchman says "Aise kaise maarega koi?!"

I was annoyed and saddened by then. We just tried telling him really nicely "Un becharonko maaro mat bhaiyya.. mare baigair bhi bhaga sakte ho (if you must!)" and we just left.

I don't blame the watchman. We are conditioned to look down upon and just kick those who we think are lesser beings. I don't blame anyone. I blame the dogs. They aren't supposed to live in a world like this! They are nuts to be born here! 

This world doesn't deserve to have unconditionally loving beings like dogs around.